I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
