Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize