Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
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nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
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You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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