I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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