the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
