so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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