im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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