You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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