it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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