Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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