Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
