i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
