You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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