I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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