Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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