Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
