It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
