I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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