Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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