I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
