Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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