Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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