Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
