Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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