so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
