hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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