Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.