Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.

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(213): View more from California

Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.

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(631): View more from New York

judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.

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(518): View more from New York

You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...

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(402): View more from Nebraska

let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex

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(616): View more from Michigan

Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"

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(410): View more from Maryland

I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain

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(250): View more from British Columbia

You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping

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