Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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