Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize