im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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