Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
