Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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