i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
