Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
