she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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