there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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