Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
