I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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