But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
