Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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