When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
