There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
