Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
