I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
