so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
there's paper in my vomit.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
