I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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