I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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