the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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