I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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