We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
