i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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