You work out of a Hotel?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dignity is for republicans.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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