Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
my poor anus
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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