your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
