I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize