Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
