don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
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I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
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my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.