great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.