I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?