I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.