hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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