so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
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He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.