Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
