Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
