Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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